Embracing God-given Gender Roles: Men
Embracing God-given Gender Roles: Men
Topic: family, gender, leadership, men, roles
Scripture: 1 Timothy 2:1–8
Last week, I came across a chapter by Clement of Alexandria. Clement was late second-century theologian and writer. I don’t recommend reading him much, since he has many crazy ideas, but the particular passage I was reading was amusing.
Clement bemoaned the plague of effeminacy among men of his day (about 1800 years ago). While extreme signs included wearing jewelry and perfume, the process began with combing one’s hair and shaving one’s beard. In fact, Clement spends the greater part of this chapter denouncing the degeneracy of clean-shaven men.
As much as I like my beard, it’s a huge overstatement to claim that being clean-shaven is a despicable sin. Despite the humorous battleground, this discussion does have biblical roots.
God instructed the Israelites:
“A woman shall not wear man’s clothing, nor shall a man put on a woman’s clothing; for whoever does these things is an abomination to Yahweh your God.” (Deut 22:5)
Every culture has its own symbols of gender conformity. When Paul addressed the Corinthians, he warned against women removing their veils. In Clement’s day, things like beards and jewelry were key symbols. Throughout time, differences have always existed between men’s and women’s clothing, which is why God emphasizes that in Deuteronomy.
Yet none of these specifics are inherently required. God cares less what those cultural details are, and more that we maintain gender distinctions.
It’s no surprise for me to tell you that our culture has eradicated many of the differences between men and women. Culturally, we’ve blurred the lines so much and pretended gender conformity is a bad thing. Yet God maintains that:
“He created them male and female, and He blessed them and named them Man in the day when they were created.” (Gen 5:2)
In ancient Egypt, men had skirts, long hair, and shaven faces. In 21st century America, most men have jeans, moderate hair, and beards.
We’re not here to debate the godliness of wearing a beard. I want us to focus on the important gender differences God does expect us to maintain; let’s look at the pattern God gave us in 1 Timothy 2.
Men, be the spiritual leaders.
“First of all, then, I exhort that petitions and prayers, requests and thanksgivings, be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity.
This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the full knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself as a ransom for all, the witness for this proper time. For this I was appointed a preacher and an apostle (I am telling the truth, I am not lying) as a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and truth.
Therefore I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and dissension.” (1 Tim 2:1–8)
Before looking at the role of women, Paul first describes the role of men—we bear the responsibility of leading. Male leadership is God’s design in both the family and in the church.
We’ll get into the dynamics more in the next section of the chapter, but God intends men to step up as spiritual leaders of their families. These families are then the building blocks of the church. Every congregation, including this one, is composed of families, the men of whom are the leaders of those families.
Following this chapter, Paul dives into the requirements for elders of the church. In accordance with the precedent set here, the elders—the leaders of the church—must be men. Included among those qualifications is the only requirement of leadership experience:
“Leading his own household well, having his children in submission with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to lead his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?)” (1 Tim 3:4–5)
Leadership begins to develop in the home. Only then is a man equipped to lead in the church.
Pray on behalf of those whom you lead.
“First of all, then, I exhort that petitions and prayers, requests and thanksgivings, be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity.” (1 Tim 2:1–2)
Our prayers often prioritize our own needs. They certainly should remind us of our dependence on God. We rely entirely on God for our subsistence and well-being, and He has taught us to make those requests known to Him (Matt 6:11–12; Phil 4:6). However, as men who lead in your families or in the church, your first thought must be to care for those whose care has been entrusted to you.
In this passage, Paul lists four words for types of prayer, highlighting how prominent of a place prayer must take in our lives as leaders.
Spend some serious time praying for your family.
- Pray that they “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Pet 3:16).
- Ask that God “may give the spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the full knowledge of Him” (Eph 1:17).
- Call upon the Lord to bless and keep them (Num 6:24–26). Intercede for them, as did Moses multiple times in Exodus.
- Not just these requests, but notice also the example in our text this morning. Paul tells us to pray for our leadership, not for their own personal sake, but for the greatest benefit to God’s people—including our families.
This leads us into our next observation.
Prioritize those whom you lead.
If you carry on your shoulders the knowledge that God expects you to lead, your decision matrix will change. Upon seeing your children for the first time, everything changed in that moment. You knew nothing would keep you from protecting and caring for them!
I hope that same attitude permeates your thinking, but with a spiritual focus. God did not make you a father, a husband, or a grandfather just so you can physically provide. Certainly God expects and requires that of you. Later in this book, Paul warns Timothy about families that don’t take care of their own widows:
“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Tim 5:8)
But God appointed you to be more than a breadwinner. Prioritizing your wife and family spiritually means your decisions put their spiritual needs ahead of even their physical needs, ahead of their wants and luxuries, and ahead of your own ambitions for them.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Eph 6:4)
You have no greater responsibility than to your family’s salvation. God has appointed men to be stewards of their home. Yet, men are not kings and dictators.
Humble yourself before your own head.
“This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior.” (1 Tim 2:3)
Paul slides in a reminder of our own headship. Before you humor the idea that God means for men to rule everything from a throne of gold, remember these words:
“Christ is the head of every man,
and the man is the head of a woman,
and God is the head of Christ.” (1 Cor 11:3)
We’ll get to the wife and submission eventually, but submission isn’t unique to the wife. Men, God expects you to submit!
“Submit therefore to God.” (Jas 4:7 NASB)
If anything, our submission before God is the only full submission that God expects of us. As we submit to God, we are obligated to pass His instructions on to our families. This model is patterned throughout the book of Genesis. In verses 13–14, Paul alludes to the Garden.
When God gave instructions to humanity in the Garden, Eve had not yet been formed. Yet we read:
“Then Yahweh God took the man and set him in the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. And Yahweh God commanded the man, saying, ‘From any tree of the garden you may surely eat; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat from it; for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.'” (Gen 2:15–17)
Thus, the imperatives (“Tend the Garden; avoid the tree”) were not given directly to Eve. God intended for the man to pass them onto his wife, in honor of his submission to God. By failing to instruct and lead your family, you dishonor Christ, and by extension, the Father as well.
Christ instructs us nothing of His own will, but only that which comes from His Father.
“I do nothing from Myself, but I speak these things as the Father taught Me.” (John 8:28)
If Jesus can speak only the things which the Father taught Him, how much more must we submit then to Christ, only speaking the things which Christ taught us?
Acknowledge the gravity of your responsibility as a leader.
“…who desires all men to be saved and to come to the full knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself as a ransom for all, the witness for this proper time. For this I was appointed a preacher and an apostle (I am telling the truth, I am not lying) as a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and truth.” (1 Tim 2:4–7)
I know I probably sound a bit repetitive at this point, but I want you to see how serious this is. This is the cornerstone concept of your role as a man.
If your family isn’t faithful and you’re not doing anything about it, you’ve failed as a man and as a leader. I know you can’t magically make your family be faithful, but they definitely won’t be if you don’t lead them.
Paul reinforces the seriousness of this responsibility in three ways.
First,
Keep your ultimate goals in focus.
As men, your responsibility only begins with your families. We often think of life as something to be enjoyed, and verily, it is a blessing, yet at its heart, it is an assignment. God created you with purpose. He formed you for His glory, not your own.
God chose us, clay pots (2 Cor 4:7), to labor alongside Him in the ministry of the Gospel.
“For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, God’s building.” (1 Cor 3:9)
Paul reminds Timothy that God “desires all men to be saved.” God’s plan for us as the church is to spread and establish the Gospel. Our efforts with our families, co-workers, friends, and others must tie-in to our purpose, or they are in vain.
As we prepare to spread the Gospel in our own community, I want you to remember that these efforts constitute our purpose as the church: we give glory to God and spread His light.
Second,
Remember what God sacrificed.
Keep things in perspective. How do we know our responsibility is serious? Look what God did to make it all possible.
God wants to be reconciled to mankind, yes, but His holiness means God cannot ignore sin and just pretend to get along with sinners. Reconciling Himself to us required God to send His Son to become a human being so He in turn could act as mediator between mankind and the Godhead.
The example of Jesus bears witness against our failures as men. In fact, if the first man had adequately fulfilled his role as the leader of his own home, sin wouldn’t have entered the world—at least not in the way it did.
Third,
Consider the effect others have had upon you.
In this letter, Paul writes to Timothy, whom he personally trained for years, and possibly converted. Timothy, in turn, is serving with the church in Ephesus, with which Paul also ministered for years. I believe Paul is encouraging them to remember the impact he had on them through his leadership, example, and teaching.
If I can reflect over numerous men in my life who modeled Jesus for me; who taught me the Word; who challenged me to be a better man; I know you can.
“Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their conduct, imitate their faith.” (Heb 13:7)
Christianity isn’t about taking forever. God expects us to give back.
The State of Texas has a very interesting program called the Texas Master Gardener program. I know some of y’all have participated in it yourselves. Basically, the state trains you for 50+ hours in horticulture and gardening. In exchange, you promise to volunteer your time with the local extension office. Ideally, you take the knowledge given to you and pass it on.
God expects you to do that as well. He hasn’t made us privileged and blessed so that we may blessed alone, but so we can give to others as well.
Clean up your own life and start being an example.
Finally, Paul concludes,
“Therefore I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and dissension.” (1 Tim 2:8)
This isn’t optional. God hasn’t given you a choice; He has given you a command. Lead. Lead in your homes, in worship, and in the church. But you better live a holy life. If you’re going to say, as did Paul, “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ,” you need to have a life worth imitating (1 Cor 11:1).
Tonight, we’ll take a look at the role God has made for women. But I want for you to see that as men, you have a dual responsibility: submit yourself fully to Christ, and lead your family in the same way. Eventually, that leadership should roll over into the church, but it begins in your own home.
Be men. Take hold of your responsibility. Serve God and lead your family.